A sweet, chilly kick to help you hurdle the holiday hump.

The holidays are coming — and with them, my thoughts turn to the boozy confections I’ll make to stay relatively pain-free through the season. I like the idea of concocting beverages that are deceptively guilt-free, and what could be more innocent than a root beer float? Never mind the fact that the recipe uses Root liquor with the same potency of bourbon — if you won’t tell, I won’t.

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Prohibition was a dark period for many wayward socialites. I can only imagine what the festive season must have been like without the aid of “good cheer,” in the form of liquid courage. The original recipe for root beer was hit hard at that time, since the beverage was made with a healthy (think 80 proof) kick in the backyard stills of enterprising pioneers.

When the temperance movement hit, root beer conglomerates like Hires cornered the market by denaturing the “spirit” of the spirit, and the true splendor of boozy root beer was lost to the world. Until now. Art in the Age, a Philadelphia-based community of free thinkers and artistic innovators, has brought back the old recipe.

A friend introduced me to Root last month and I considered a life of polyandry, just so I could marry it. I ordered a bottle the instant I could steady my fingers enough to click “buy” and I’ve been making root beer floats and sweet memories ever since. Art in the Age also makes Snap, which tastes just like ginger snaps, and Rhuby, which is based on rhubarb.

If there is someone on your holiday shopping list who is impossible to shop for, consider your task easy this year. Root and Snap are available at the new premium liquor store in West Seattle — although, with the passage of I-1183, the store is scheduled to close in May 2012.

Last week I cleaned every last drop of ice cream out of my freezer, and was forced to churn more so that I could enjoy another precioussssss root beer float. I decided to make mint, but I coupled it with syrup made from reducing Root and whipped the whole thing into an ice cream custard that could make a eunuch orgasm in five seconds flat.

I am going to share my recipe with you. You are going to be my best friend and, together, we will make it through the holiday season alive — fat, happy and steeped in enough liquor to make Second Uncle Harry’s awkward advances slightly less skeevy than they really are. If you don’t feel like going the distance and making your own ice cream — by all means, pick up a quality pint of mint and fashion a float fit for revelry.

Root Liquor and Mint Ice Cream (makes 1 quart):

• ¼ cup Root liquor + 2 tablespoons (divided)
• 2 cups packed mint leaves (use chocolate mint if you have it)
• ¾ cup granulated sugar
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 1½ cups whole milk
• 1½ cups heavy cream
• 8 egg yolks

1. In a small saucepan, heat ¼ cup of Root liquor over medium heat for 60 seconds. Add the mint leaves, sugar, salt, 1 cup of milk and 1 cup of cream and bring to a boil, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Immediately remove from heat, cover and let steep for 30 minutes. 
2. Meanwhile, place the remaining milk and cream in a medium mixing bowl set over an ice bath. 
3. Strain the mint leaves and return the infused milk-cream mixture to the saucepan. Heat it to just before boiling, then whisk some of the hot milk into the egg yolks, working very quickly to avoid curdling. Pour the egg yolks back into the saucepan and whisk vigorously. 
4. Heat the custard over medium heat stirring constantly with a wooden spoon until it thickens to the consistency of maple syrup and coats the back of the spoon. Remove from heat. 
5. Pour the custard through a strainer and into the milk bath set over ice. Stir until cool, then allow to chill completely in the refrigerator overnight. 
6. The following morning, add the remaining two tablespoons of Root liquor and churn in an ice cream maker according to its instructions.

Note: when making ice cream, mise en place is especially important. Mint scrambled eggs are just gross, people. Be sure to have your egg yolks cracked and ready, ingredients measured, an ice bath waiting, and a strainer and whisk out for the several times you’ll need them.